The Sacred Undoing: A Journey Through Love, Energy, and Inner War

At the heart of everything I create—Raw Attraction Magazine, the podcast, the books, and the challenges that oftentimes masquerades as revelation, is one mission: understanding what the heck happened between the masculine and feminine on this planet.

Because something did break. We fell out of Eden. We forgot how to hold each other. Somewhere along the line, love got replaced with power dynamics, connection with codependence, and real intimacy with romantic performance.

This isn’t about trends. It’s about repair. Remembering. Learning to love in a way that doesn’t cost us our soul.

The Personal Is the Portal: Where It All Began

The seeds of this inquiry weren’t planted in a temple or during a psychedelic ceremony. They were born in the quiet ache of teenage confusion—watching two people try to love each other and consistently miss the mark. Not through dramatic abuse or chaos, but through something more insidious: emotional disconnection. Misunderstanding. The painful absence of real intimacy.

That was the ache that started it all. The innocent wondering: is this love? Is this really what we’re all striving for? That question cracked the portal wide open—not into romance, but into truth.

And once the journey began, there was no turning back.

When the Body Shuts Down, the Soul Speaks

Some initiations don’t come with warning signs. They arrive quietly, like a thief in the night, and steal everything you thought was stable.

I was in Costa Rica. A week earlier I’d taken part in an Ayahuasca ceremony—nothing unusual for the path I was on at the time. But what followed wasn’t integration. It was collapse.

I woke one morning in San José with absolutely no energy in my body. None. It wasn’t exhaustion. It wasn’t burnout. It was like something had unplugged me from life itself.

The hotel room felt like a tomb. The ceiling like a mirror. My thoughts were slow, scattered. Something was clearly wrong, but no doctor could help. No healer could reach me. I wasn’t just physically drained—I was being emptied. Hollowed out.

For a week, no amount of sleep helped. No food, no supplements, no massage. I tried everything. Nothing worked. My body had become a husk—and no one could explain why.

At first, I thought maybe this was just some strange aftershock from the ceremony. But it felt deeper. Like something, or someone, was feeding on me. It would take a few more strange encounters to confirm what I’d always felt but never fully admitted: this reality is more layered, more interfered with, than most would dare to believe.

The Initiation Into Dimensional Healing

I didn’t sign up to be a mystic. I was just following the trail of love and truth like anyone else. But that trail led me straight into something I hadn’t read in books: an energetic war playing out behind the veil of the visible.

The work I began with Shelly wasn’t therapy. It wasn’t even healing in the traditional sense. It was battle. Clearing dimensional debris. Opening the energetic body beyond this lifetime. And facing entities—yes, literal entities, whose sole purpose was to keep us in polarity.

For nearly two years, I was living in two worlds. And most of the time, it felt like hell. But there was also clarity. Power… and a deeper understanding of how the separation between masculine and feminine has been architected, on purpose.

Breakdown or Breakthrough? Both.

In early 2016, there was a rooftop in Barcelona where I nearly said goodbye. My mind, body and soul had taken too much. Shelley had driven me to the edge. My nervous system was done. I told everyone I loved that I was ready to go.

Not because I wanted to die, but because I couldn’t hold the truth alone anymore. The grief of knowing what’s really happening here, and the weight of feeling it with no map, no anchor, no community who could hold the magnitude of it.

But even in that moment, when I thought I had nothing left, a tiny ember remained. The seed of truth. The knowing that this wasn’t madness. It was revelation. And I was here for it.

A Call to the Divine Masculine: No More Excuses

Let’s be clear: this is not a hall pass to blame goblins and dark magicians for your lack of integrity. We are still responsible. We must still show up.

This is a call to the divine masculine. To the mature masculine. To the heart-centred warrior who knows that responsibility and love are not at odds. They are the same sword.

We must end the destruction. Of oceans. Of women. Of children. Of each other.

And it all starts inside.

The New Human: Union as Evolution

What’s coming next isn’t just another spiritual trend. It’s an evolution. An upgrade to our human potential.

This isn’t about being “woke.” This is about being whole.

When masculine and feminine unite within, when we stop fighting ourselves and each other, we stop being batteries for the shadow games. We become creators again. Lovers again. Humans again.

Final Words (For Now)

If this story resonates with you, you’re not alone. And you’re not mad.

You’re waking up.

So go inside. Heal the separation within. Find the inner child. And don’t just read about love, become it.

This is the mission. This is the call.

With love, SJ.